


Just Roommates, I swear.

by fenwick



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Asgardians don't understand homophobia, Bucky Does Not Care, Fluff, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), I guess civil war never happened, Loki is mentioned, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, ThunderScience - Freeform, Tony/Bucky if you want to have it like that, for when you love bruce and you also want to feel better and not sad, or infinity war, or social interactions, or transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 16:19:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16478870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fenwick/pseuds/fenwick
Summary: Bruce and only Bruce tries desperately to hide the fact that he and Thor are dating from a tired Tony Stark and I guess Bucky's here too.





	Just Roommates, I swear.

Bruce watches their weird, horrible coffee machine struggle its way through a single batch of coffee with crossed arms. He winces, not because the machine is dispensing black, syrupy, coffee-like sludge at rhythmic intervals, but because he knows Thor will drink it anyway.

“Hey, Bruce, Tony’s coming by today.” Thor speaks with a mouth full of Pops, the worst cereal. He’s holding a newspaper that is entirely in Arabic, which is also upside-down. The plastic chair they’ve decorated their “dining room” with screeches as he leans in to take a closer look at the newspaper. His forehead almost touches the Sports section. Bruce is absolutely not in the mood to ask why he’s looking at that newspaper or where he got it, so he just accepts what he sees in front of him and tries not to think about asking.

Bruce scratches his chin. “He’s ‘Tony’ now? You only started calling me by my first name on the fourth date, because I asked you to stop calling me Banner.” He’s not good at hiding when he’s offended, though he never stops wishing he was.

Thor gently puts down the newspaper and walks across the kitchen to very tightly grip Bruce in a hug. It was really weird the first few times Thor did this without saying anything first (or after), but after so many times Bruce just got used to it. It’s kinda nice, actually. Comforting. Bruce has just assumed it’s an Asgardian custom, which it is not.

Thor smooths the un-brushed hair at the back of Bruce’s head, and it’s nice, but Bruce is starting to loose oxygen. He taps Thor’s shoulder a few times, and Thor has learned what that means, so he releases Bruce from the hug. He pours the abomination that he calls ‘coffee’ into a mug and drinks it while Bruce, like every morning, tries not to gag. “And why’s Tony coming over? Did you...invite him?” Bruce makes a face.

“Absolutely not. He wants to do paper-y things, which means he probably want to talk to you and not me.”

“You are not abandoning me in a room alone with Tony today.”

Thor’s voice trails as he walks toward their room. “Why not? I thought you liked Tony.” Thor exits the room with two shirts in hand and none on body.

Bruce blushes. “Who said I didn’t?”

Thor scratches his head. “Uh...you did?” He lays both shirts on the table, inspecting them with his hand on his chin before making his arbitrary choice of t-shirt.

“I like him, I guess, but he...makes me nervous, y’know?”

“Mm….I’m not sure I do know.” Thor’s voice is muffled as he pulls the shirt over his head.

Bruce sighs and takes Thor’s forgotten plates and cups off the table to rinse them. “Ok, whatever, just please...stay with me?”

Thor walks up to him and gives him a light kiss on the cheek, which is answer enough. He has a strange way with...lack of words. Saying more with his gestures than with his words, which Bruce can appreciate. Sometimes words can only make things worse, and having Thor in his life, with his strange little ways of showing his love, is what Bruce considers a blessing. And Thor is glad to have someone who understands his weird little language. He goes back to his unreadable newspaper on the couch.

“Well, don’t do that while Tony’s here.” Bruce laughs dryly as he puts the plate on the rack to dry.

Thor looks up from his paper and frowns, eyebrows knitting together with confusion. “Do what? Kiss my boyfriend?”

Bruce turns to face him, and his smile fades as he realizes Thor isn’t joking. “Yeah, I mean...you’re okay with letting Tony know we’re dating?”

“Why not? We are.” Thor extends his arm over the other half of the couch and looks at Bruce, which means ‘come sit with me.’ So he does. Bruce walks into the living room and leans himself on Thor, arms crossed. 

“I know we are but...I just don’t know if Tony’s not..If he’s okay with...yeah.” Bruce looks at Thor as if he’s just said a complete sentence.

Thor laughs. “Oh. You think he’s jealous. Okay, I won’t say anything.” Thor strokes the other man’s salt-and-pepper hair as he kisses Bruce’s cheek softly. Bruce sighs, his voice mixed with content and frustration, though Thor’s doesn’t seem to notice as he runs his hand through Bruce’s hair. Thor has always had trouble understanding homophobia and transphobia. On Asgard, it’s a custom to just be...fluid, in lots of ways. Bruce thought for a long time that Thor had a sister and a brother growing up because of the way that he kept switching gender when talking about Loki without any explanation. When he asked, Thor seemed shocked that Bruce would even need to ask such a question. “They’re genderfluid.” He scoffed at the time, as if it were obvious.

So, Bruce says nothing, just hoping that that will be enough to stop Thor from outing him and himself to Tony Stark. If he tried to explain it to him, Tony would be here and gone before the two would be able to reach any sort of understanding on the matter.

“When’s he coming over?” Bruce closes his eyes and leans in to Thor.

“I think he said, like, ten thirty or something.” Thor smiles as he feels Bruce put his weight against him. Bruce smells like cherries, somehow.

Suddenly, Bruce jerks away and casts a very upset expression towards his boyfriend, which makes the smile fall off Thor’s face. “Thor. Are you serious right now? That’s in-” He gets up to check the time on the stove. “Thor, that’s in seventeen minutes.” Bruce starts to hyperventilate and run to their room. “Clothes, none of my clothes are clean, Thor. What do I do?”

Thor springs into action on Bruce damage control. He takes both of Bruce’s hands in his own and tries to hold him in place while he panics. “Listen, listen, listen...you have enough clothes, just put on the best ones and then come out and tell me what I did wrong with my outfit, okay? Tony’s going to be late, he always is, you know that.”

Bruce’s rapid hyperventilating slows and he begins to breath in sync with Thor. “You really think he’s going to be late?”

Thor nods. “I know so. He’s probabl-definitely still asleep.” He squeezes Bruce’s hands and smiles, which seems to calm him down even more. Bruce takes a deep breath and nods, going off to follow the plan.

Thirty minutes pass slowly for both men as Bruce frantically and aggressively cleans up their apartment, throwing the items that he doesn’t like into a closet, even though Tony will only see the front room, if he even comes in their apartment at all. He comes out of their room every so often to ask Thor’s opinion on an outfit. Except he never seems to mind what Thor’s opinion on his fashion is, always changing his shirt within a minute anyways, no matter what Thor says. Still, he keeps asking, so Thor keeps answering, however futile it may be.

After thirty-two minutes, Thor’s staring at the painting of an ocean on their wall with crossed arms when he hears a gentle knock at the door. Soft clattering noises still echo from down the hall as Bruce attempts to straighten up. Without thinking, Thor goes to answer the door. A very tired looking Tony in pajamas is waiting behind it, and behind him, a phone-engrossed Bucky Barnes.

“Hello, Thor.” Tony’s voice is raspy as he half-heartedly greets the man.

“Haha, Tony! When did YOU get here?”

Tony just sighs. “Can we come in, please?” He mumbles something about it being too early.

“Haha.” Thor holds the door open for both of them. “Yeah.” Tony hurries in, quickly wiping the seat of the couch with his hand as he sits. Bucky slowly makes his way over to sit with Tony, not looking where he’s going. He says nothing to Thor as he sits down.

Tony sighs again while rubbing his hands across his face in an attempt to wake up. “And where’s Bruce?” He seems annoyed that he even has to ask, but Thor doesn’t notice the tone. He smiles and nods.

“Uh...Could you call him in here, maybe?”

“Oh, right. Hey Bruce, honey?!” Thor shouts at the wall, behind which Bruce is hastily throwing clothes into a box.

“Yeah, babe? Hey, what time is it?”

“I don’t know, but Tony’s here. And that one guy, too!” Bucky laughs at something at his phone and Tony places his head in his hands.

“HE’S WHAT?!” Bruce rushes out of his room down the hall while Thor smiles stupidly at Tony. Tony tries not to make eye contact. He’s still fixing his hair and shirt when he reaches the front room, walking in to see Bucky and Tony sitting on the couch about an inch apart. Bucky has not once looked at either Thor or Tony since he walked in. Tony prods him with his elbow, which doesn’t prompt him to look at Tony. He only lets out an annoyed groan in response.

“Oh, my gosh, Tony! What a surprise, who knew? No one knew!” Bruce chokes on his words. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands, so he shifts them uncomfortably to his back pockets. Thor keeps smiling at Tony when he reaches his hand and places it on Bruce’s shoulder. Bruce takes a step to the right to shake Thor’s hand from his back, which seems to confuse Thor very slightly. Although he’s too enraptured with staring at Tony’s face to say anything.

Tony glances between them with his hand rested on his chin. “I told Thor two weeks ago that I was coming. Did he not tell you?”

Bruce laughs uncomfortably and takes another small step away from Thor. “No, no..” He shakes his head. “We don’t...talk about, uh….anything. Right, Thor?”

Thor laughs and reaches for Bruce’s shoulder a second time. Bruce dodges the gesture, so Thor attempts to play it off by crossing his arms. “No, Bruce, we’re actually d-” Thor pauses. “OHHH, I remember now. You wanted me to do the thing about the-ok. Yeah, sure, we never talk.” He winks at Bruce, who is currently screaming inside his head. He casts a nervous smile towards Tony. Bucky laughs at his phone again and taps the screen a few times, not paying attention.

 

“Ok, well, this is weird,” Tony grabs his clipboard, pen and paper and walks over to Bruce, offering it out to him. “Listen, just sign this paper and put the reason why you moved and then we can leave.”

Bruce hesitantly takes the paper and skims it with his eyes for a few seconds. Thor leans over his shoulder to try and look at the paper as well, which causes Bruce to step even further to the right. He’s almost reached the wall at this point. “What’s this all about?” Bruce’s voice is slightly raised and cracks near the end of the question.

Thor looks with concern at Bruce, which doesn’t help. “I told Thor this too, y-”

“Yes, and I forgot! I’m just like that!” Thor laughs and playfully shoves Tony, who recoils in response.

“Um, okay.” Tony checks his watch and sighs. “Look, you just need to sign it. You’re with the Avengers and we need to have your location on file at all times, it’s mandatory. Please just sign it, please. Sign it.” He falls slightly short of begging.

Bruce nods and signs both his and Thor’s signature. He mouths the words as he reads them, but stops short when he reaches the blank section that he’s meant to write the reason for the move on. He glances at Thor nervously, who smiles, like always. It calms him, a little. Very little.

“I don’t-uh, I don’t know what to put...here.” He gestures with the pen at the blank section.

“You literally just have put the reason. What’s the reason you moved in together?” Tony’s voice is blank, slightly exasperated if anything. But Bruce feels like he’s being interrogated.

“I, uh…I don’t.” Bruce shrinks into himself, on the verge of a breakdown. Thor looks at his boyfriend with concern and rubs his back slowly and gently. Bruce forgets to shove him off.

Tony decides that now would be a good time to let down a little bit of that cold and distant persona he’s adopted. Just a little bit of it, just for a second. Should be fine. He gently takes the clipboard and pen from Bruce, clicking it closed and hanging it from his shirt pocket. “I’ll just fill it out, ‘kay? And then you two can go back to doing...whatever. That’s all I need, just the signatures.” Tony gestures for Bucky to get up so they can make their escape, but he doesn’t notice. He kicks Bucky’s shin, which wins him a rude glance from the other man, but does the job. 

“Bye, Bruce, Thor. I guess I’ll see you or something.” Bucky speaks for the first time since he entered their apartment. He slides his phone into his jacket pocket and glances around. “Nice place, I guess. Tony, let’s go. My phone’s gonna die.”

Tony rolls his eyes and follows Bucky out of the door, mumbling a goodbye on his way out. A still-panicked Bruce snaps out of it enough to muster a short ‘see-you’ before Tony shuts the door behind him.

“Bye, Tony! I-oh, he’s gone.” Thor is cut off by the click of the door as it closes.

Tony speeds up as soon as he leaves their apartment, with Bucky close behind. They say nothing to each other until the elevator door closes.

“I think they’re d-” 

“Yeah, they’re dating.” Tony cuts Bucky off, as he does.

Bucky hums in agreement. The elevator dings as they pass two floors before Bucky breaks the silence again. “What are you gonna put as a reason? I don’t think that they want you to put that they’re dating.”

Tony exits the elevator and nods at the doorman as he hurries out of the building with Bucky matching his stride. “I’m gonna say that they moved because Stark towers was too trashy for them.” He smirks and opens the passenger door for him.

Bucky laughs and looks at the cheap apartment building they just left. White paint chips from the cracking exterior litter the parking lot beneath their feet. “Seems about right. You could have offered them their own floor or something.”

“Are you kidding? Did you see Banner’s face when I asked him the reason that they moved? The poor guy would explode if I tried something like that. I’ll let them figure it out.”

Bucky smiles and plugs his phone into the car charger. It dings as he plugs it in. “Yeah, they seem like they have to together.”

Tony laughs brightly, rare for him this early in the morning. “Alright, let’s go home.”

“Totally.”

**Author's Note:**

> throws a brick that says "BRUCE IS TRANS" with this fan fiction taped to the back through the supreme court window and runs away


End file.
